But I hide it so well,

so none can see me crying;

though emotionally I feel like hell!
 

I’ve allowed myself to be used;

again and again.

I’m so obsessed with sex;

though in the end,

I always end up alone again!
 

How will I ever find real love;

instead of just looking for sex?

Or is it to be my life history,

to be such an emotional mess?
 

I’m not a terrible person,

won’t somebody finally see?

That these roles I choose to play,

are just a facade, not the real me.
 

I drink and take pills.

trying to get a cheap thrill;

But comes the next day,

I feel even more like a shill!
 

They all tell me that they like me

but I know it’s just a lie;

‘Cause just like me, they’re looking

for something outside of themselves;

to end those empty feelings

‘til morning replaces night!
 

We all use each other

for temporary satisfaction.

‘Cause we’re all alike,

just going for the physical attraction.
 

So I cry quietly inside,

though I know that’s not right.

Why can't I just let those feelings go,

and get on with my life?
 

Instead of silently crying,

why can’t I scream and shout?

Instead of sharing all my secrets,

why don’t I just “shut my mouth?
 

So often I sit and fantasize

how my life might be,

if I could be “more like normal folks”.

and less and less like me?
 

I hate myself for all I’ve done;

sitting and counting

my regrets by the ton.
 

Why can’t my obsessions just set me free

and end their painful control of me.