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Creativity as Therapy

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Anxiety is the essential condition of intellectual and artistic creation
Charles Frankel

Creativity is essentially a lonely art. An even lonelier struggle. To some a blessing. To others a curse. It is in reality the ability to reach inside yourself and drag forth from your very soul an idea.

Lou Dorfsman

Here I share my own experiences as a suffer of OCD, anxiety and depression and my personal advice for overcoming , or at least coping with  such to practice your chosen art, craft or hobby.

The artist's personality, built upon strong desires and compassionate vision, is by its nature prone to depression.
Eric Maisel

It has to be said of course that for some of us taking up an art or other creative pass-time can be no easy matter. For some of you like me your condition may interfere with your chosen art or craft. For instance, people with OCD may find that their obsessive-compulsive behaviours can be a hindrance in the pursuit of art as they are in all other aspects of your existence. If for example you have a fear of contamination you may experience difficulties using paint or other art materials. If you take up writing, you like I, may find that your OCD may interfere presenting with a compulsion to check and endlessly  re-edit and obsesses about your writing. People with a more general anxiety may feel so  overwhelmed by their anxiety to the point that it may sap motivation. Some of you with agoraphobia may find it difficult to get out to purchase material or to take up an art course or like the suffer of general anxiety disorder you may feel too anxious to focus your attention. Those of us who suffer with depression may feel that there simply is no motivation.

Writing is 90 percent procrastination: reading magazines, eating cereal out of the box, watching infomercials. It's a matter of doing everything you can to avoid writing, until it is about four in the morning and you reach the point where you have to write
Paul Rudnick

Furthermore many of us with any type of anxiety disorder or depression often find that our ability to make decisions is effected by these condtions and often we cannot even make a decision about which art or craft to try. And once having chosen a craft or art we may than find it difficult to make a decision as to what to do next. For example I paint and so does my son. I have OCD and my son has AS Aspergers syndrome. Often depression and anxiety, and for me my obsessive compulsive behaviours, present a great deal of difficulty in pursuing such endeavours, furthermore in addition we are often impeded by indecision. What to paint, using what medium, on what surface, canvas, paper, card, wood...? Often such indecisiveness can delay your attempts for weeks even months if you allow it too. My son has a particular problem with this and weeks will pass by while he simply cannot make a decision about what to paint. And remember that often for people with depression, which is the case for both my son and I, the lack of motivation adds to the awful indecisiveness. Than when and if having once decided many people, particualry with AS and OCD and related conditions, are bugged by the scourge of perfectionism, and the misery experienced by this can often deter you from picking up a paintbrush and beginning a new piece of work. The same of course may well apply to wrting or any creative endeavour, and indeed in my own personal circumstances this is most certainly the case.

I am doomed to an eternity of compulsive work. No set goal achieved satisfies. Success only breeds a new goal. The golden apple devoured has seeds. It is endless.
Bette Davis

In addition people with mental health problems, but most particularly those with bipolar, AS, ADHD, ADD and similar conditions may experience so many creative ideas that they become overwhelmed to the point of being unable to develop this huge influx of creative thought, feeling overwhelmed so much so that he or she is mentally incapacitated or conversely work themselves to exhaustion. This is a problem for both my son and I. So many ideas present to me,  some of which may be beyond my ability to bring into fruition, but mostly there are simply so many ideas and not enough time in which to develop them. Nonetheless you try to do so and you may than find that instead of creativity becoming a therapeutic tool it becomes a burden, a torment in itself. You try to divide your day to accommodate your ideas, to develop your sudden moments of inspiration, yet some times  the development of ideas breeds other ideas and you can feel swapped and as a result become impotent, incapacitated. Your attention than becomes so fragmented that you do not even know where to begin. Moreover into the mix of course indecision often rears its ugly head. You try to do too much and as a consequence you end up doing very little and you than feel you have wasted your day.

I am almost sick and giddy with the quantity of things in my head, all tempting and wanting to be worked out.
John Ruskin

Why am I telling you this?

I am not trying to put any one off but simply to make you aware of such difficulties should they arise, they may not of course we are all different. It is helpful to be aware of such pitfalls otherwise it is impossible to confront them. The above concerning the influx of creative ideas and other perceived hindrances are my personal experiences and that of my son's with art and also my sister experienced similar difficulties. Such are common amongst many who are creative and are not to be considered in a negative light. The problem is not the flow of creative ideas but how we handle them of course.

The ideas for stories that thronged my brain would not let me rest till I had got rid of them by writing them.
W. Somerset Maugham

Conversely you may experience times when you have no creative ideas whatsoever or you experience difficulties getting your idea off the ground, for example it took a week or so to get this article further than two paragraphs. I knew what I wanted to say here but I found it difficult to express my ideas coherently, there was simply a block. Than today once I began writing it seemed to flow and ideas poured in and the more I wrote the more ideas presented in relation to the subject of art and creativity and ideas concerning the difficulties which arise in the pursuit of creativity. As outrageous as this may seem such an overwhelming flood of ideas than becomes a misery as you feel the urge to continue to the point of exhaustion, which is not at all therapeutic.

So what to do?

Knowing our limitations concerning our ideas is essential,  inasmuch that it is impossible to accommodate and develop them all, even though at times such is easier said than done, and it becomes almost compulsive to do so and and you try against all odds to bring into being all your ideas, often with as much haste as possible. In a way for someone with OCD, hypochondria,  General Anxiety Disorder or any similar condition where you are tormented by unwanted thoughts,  this can distract from the usual torment generated by these condtions. For example if you are an hypochondriac tortured with anxiety that you have a particular condition the influx and resulting compulsion to develop creative ideas may distract you from your less pleasant worries, which in the case of hypochondria is your health. Nonetheless if taken to extremes you can become irritable and anxious not to mention exhausted and instead of your creativity being a therapeutic enhancement it becomes an impediment. Its a matter of finding the middle road; enough creative pursuit to produce distraction, relaxation, a sense of satisfaction as opposed to exhaustion and stress. 

I am overrun, infested with a menagerie of desires.
Elizabeth Smart

I have tried many approaches to this problem. I am in the throes of creating a second website. With both websites there are many sub projects. Creating clip art, writing articles, my blog, formatting and designing of the actual website, all of these generate further ideas. As already metnioned while in the process of writing one article ideas emerge for further articles. The same applies to design and graphics, to painting and drawing.   I would not describe myself as creative in the sense that I have original ideas or style of painting; abstraction and other forms of creativity are beyond me. Nonetheless I have so many ideas about what I want to paint that it can become overwhelming and several canvasses may be commenced or conversely nothing at all is produced. This summer I have completed only one painting due to this type of problem. In addtion I have great desire to learn to create clip art and here again one idea presents others but also conversely too many ideas bring about a feeling of torpor an inertia leading to procrastination, yet another impediment to creativity.  

I am today attempting the usual method of dividing my time between my projects on the computer. Other people have tried this, some with good results but often this does not work out, as in this instance I have scheduled myself to work on my second website at 10.30 however I am still here writing this as I feel that I need to get my ideas in print. This can result in my feeling anxious or even depressed and a failure as I regret not changing tasks. We need to be very mindful of these types of feelings which may arise. Whatever creative task we accomplish even if it does not go according to plan is nonetheless an achievement is it not, to adhere to a too rigid routine can kill your creativity. You have to be flexible even though sadly it may not be in your nature.  I have no real solution to this type of problem other than to do the best I can and develop as many ideas as is comfortably possible, and being mindful of the fact it is most likely impossible to pursue all the ideas which present no matter what I do, and sometimes on days when I am simply too ill this may be very little indeed.

Nonetheless if you can overcome these and other difficulties even if you set aside a short time each day to do something creative you will find your mood is enhanced and you may feel some sense of satisfaction that you have succeeded again such odds.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one
Mark Twain

As with all difficult or new endeavours it is perhaps best to take things one step at a time if we find it difficult to get started.  Sometimes I can be so confused in the manner already explained that its no easy matter to get started and often depression impedes even my taking the first step. But a first step may not necessarily be a big one. Concerning painting. The first real step of course is deciding on a subject to paint and as already said this can present difficulties. I usually paint from photographs selecting one from the hundreds we or others have taken or combining two or three. This results in so much indecision at times. Often after much deliberation, indecision and anxiety, the fear I am not up to the task because I have not the talent presents as a further stumbling block that needs to be overcome  - yes indeed I can become quite anxious fearing failure which is yet another great procrastinator of which you need to be aware. All this obsessing results in frustrating procrastination which can go on and on and in the finish I have to simply just pick a subject and a photo, any one! And it doesn't really matter which one, its more important to get stared. Yes afterwards I may wish that I had picked another subject, a different photo but that is the nature of the torment and once I have stared more times than not I will work on it until completion albeit continually pestered by indecision and perfectionism telling me this or that does not look right. And this can go on ad infinitum if you allow it too so after a while of such torture I have to simply put down my brush and count it as finished.

Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes, Art is knowing which ones to keep.
Scott Adams

When considering a painting the first actual practical step is that I may simply do nothing the first time except lay out on a bench my materials: a desk top easel, paintbrushes, pencil and canvas or paper. The next time I may make preliminary drawings. Next session I transfer these to the  canvas or paper and than afterwards as it seems now that all the big decisions concerning subject are over I paint whenever I can although if I wait for my mood to be in favour of painting, nothing much would happen. So I commit myself to at least one afternoon a week. Sometimes all I can do is an hour. My son and I used to set aside one hour each evening for art, this sadly has lapsed and is something we need to try to revive, as such a commitment with or without another person is helpful as it becomes a routine, and we as creatures of habit work better even when depressed if an activity becomes a part of a routine.  Often times I really just don't feel like it, well most times in fact as depression and anxiety are so motivation sapping that you have to force yourself and go against your feelings. I know of course that sometimes this is not possible in severe cases as depression can have you unable to rise from your bed let alone paint, draw, knit, sow or play instrument or whatever your craft requires.

If some of the more complex or complicated arts deter you or you simply have no motivation right now try something simple, like doodling or simple sketching until you feel more like something more complex, don't worry about what it looks like, at least you are doing something positive. When I was a child in school we often rendered what where called scribble paintings . This was simply a matter of scribbling on a piece of paper and filling in the spaces left with colours or patterns and you can do this with colour pencils like the one I did below.

This is easy to do rather like doodling and can look quite effective.  I did this when I felt too ill to do anything more complex. Art does not have to be complicated to provide a distraction or to boost your self esteem. If you are a knitter but feel too ill to cope with a complex pattern simply knit coloured squares, sewn to together they make a colourful blanket for your bed or a car seat or a throw to brighten up an old settee.

If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved.
Maurice Chevalier

For artwork such as painting and drawing you do not have to have a studio or even a large area to work in. This is a problem that often deters even normal people or at least the limitation of space is perceived as a problem. Of course you would be more motivated and it would  be easer to have a studio, a large room, plenty of space, but for most of us this is not possible. I work in my bedroom which measures  10  x  12 feet which accommodates our bed, a computer and desk, two book shelves, two fitted wardrobes and a lot of clutter, so not a lot of space.  I have a bench measuring 24  x 28 inches, a trolley on which to put my paints which are kept in a cupboard in my kitchen. I use this bench for both painting and drawing, and have to of course move things round a bit often putting my easel on the floor whilst I draw. Although of course drawing can be done anywhere, your sitting room for instance,  as it requires little space, not much more than would be the case if you are sewing, knitting or even reading a book,  unless you are using charcoal which is messy.   Naturally I have to cover the carpet in the bedroom and of course my cloths although during times of deep apathy or depression I have neglected to do so, but try and avoid this as of course a paint splattered carpet will make you feel uncomfortable later on when you are less depressed and you than regret your apathy , paint is practically impossible to remove unless removed straight the way and will serve as a constant reminder, so please take necessary precautions. Yes it can get frustrating I know and many people abandon painting becasue of lack of space  and an unwillingness to have to put things away. A small bench which I have and which can be bought cheaply, can easily be fitted into a small space. If you have more space the better it is of course. But don't give up  just  because of lack of space.  In his book Red Dust Chinese artist, photographer and traveller  Ma Jian describes his tiny room in which he once had to live, eat sleep and paint. 

If you find painting daunting there are many other pass times such as knitting, sewing, embroidery that kind of thing which requires less space and preparation. My sister loved patchwork although some space is required for a sewing machine similar to the space required for painting, but most of us have a kitchen table or work top. Anyone with a garden can buy a shed or an attic conversion if such is possible for more messy crafts such as sculpture. My Brother-in-law has space in his garden for a shed and does his carving there. Its a matter of finding what you like to do and what you can practically do. As already said sketching , knitting, embroidery and writing require little space, these creative pass-times can be pursued anywhere. As indeed can photography with a digital camera. 

Well, I have a lot to write about because we all know torment and misery provide inspiration. anonymous

Writing is a creative pass time that can be done anywhere with a pen and paper, if this is all that is available. Sometimes though ideas flow more readily when we use a pen and paper as we are not so impeded or distracted by the vagaries of technology. Most of us can find space for a type writer, or computer or anything else if we look for it. A friend of mine would not have a computer in the sitting room or bedroom because she liked these rooms to look a certain way and somehow desks with computers and benches cluttered with paint pots and the like where seen as a detraction from a more aesthetic arrangement more typical of these rooms, but if this is all the space that is available my advice is to ignore such considerations. Although to be fair to this lady she did have obsessive perfectionist tendencies regarding her home being neat and tidy. For those who do not have such concerns consider that homes are meant to be lived in, places where you engage in activities that enhance your life rather than show houses. In my former home the sitting room was the only place available for a computer and the kitchen or bedroom the only place to paint as is the case now. 

Sometimes the motivation to just go about our daily lives can at times be lacking, let alone taking up an art or craft. However if taken gradually and in small does at first, after a time you will find that even just an hour a day or whatever time you have can greatly add to your feelings of self esteem and make you feel that just for a time, even if you only manage ten minutes, you did something to improve your circumstances and distract from the conditions from which you suffer. And as those of us who suffer with a mental illness know only to well such conditions can be so pervasive that they can take over you entire life if you allow them to.

So try and find a little time for something creative.

If anyone has any hints or tips concerning creativity please share them with other sufferers. Please e-mail me with your suggestions  Contact