featured on this website. She had apparently make an earlier
version which during her City and Guilds course was
considered more than adequate for the entry piece for her
examination. However Lynda persisted with perfectionist
drive and completed the one you now see on this website, the
intricacy and perfection unfortunately cannot be fully
appreciated by the means of photography, one needs to
see this exacting piece of work.
This tendency in addition to all
ones obsessive-compulsive behaviours can made the persuit of any
endeavour a nightmare of misery. It can lead to despondency,
reduction of self esteem, procrastination - while
obsessively trying to achieve the gaol of perfection and
delaying until this elusive state is achieved - and in the
extreme the abandoning of all ones pursuits. The drive
towards perfection is a destructive road to follow. Often
only depression and anxiety are the result of such
unrealistic high goals of achievement. At least this is my
experience and most likely it is the experience of others
also, not only those of us who suffer from OCD.
However sufferers of OCD and related condtions may pursue
perfectionism with more determination and persistence and
are perhaps more adversely effected as a result of our
inevitable failures when this elevated position is not
attained.
There are two lesson we need to learn and they are: perfection will never be achieved, striving for this elusive
goal is a significant hindrance to any endeavour. It most
certainly impedes creative flow. In fact the desire to have
everything perfect is a major obstruction to the creation of
my website along with all the checking and worrying about
causing harm and so on, all of which I have rambled on and
on and on about at some length. If I could come to terms
with a few mistakes and realise that perfection is an
unobtainable ideal than at least this particular hindrance
to the creation and maintenance of my website would improve
my ability to once again enjoy working on either this or my
artwork. After all no website is perfect, today the
Microsoft website had a missing graphic.
Art is a common area of concern for myself and others,
although any endeavour in life even washing the dishes can
be pursued with fanatical perfectionism. Many artists abhor
imperfection. Degas was said to never be satisfied with his
work, often clients who purchased his paintings would chain
them to the walls to prevent the artist from removing them
to continue working on them further. Degas was known as a
perfectionist he painted multiple pictures of the same
subject as he was seemingly not satisfied with them. For the
perfectionist work is never completed, a painting is never
finished, a book is always in progress. There is that deep
underlying feeling of dissatisfaction present in any
endeavour, the perfectionist is invariably disappointed, the
glow of success is never his no matter the level of
achievement attained or the praise or encouragement of
others.
It is of note however with OCDers, at least it is with myself, that perfectionism only applies to certain areas of
ones life. For me personally when it comes to for instance
decorating perfectionism is thrown to the wind. I hate
decorating and often quote my mother who felt similarly and
would often be heard to say when really major imperfections
where pointed out: “as long as its clean that is all that
matters” or " a blind man on a galloping horse would be glad
to see it” It did not matter that the job was often less
than perfect, such as lumps in the wall paper, paint
splatters and so on. Yesterday we laid vinyl tiles on the
bathroom floor. Now you are supposed to lay and align them
independently of the wall and when you enter the room they
should appear fairly symmetrical for the most part with only
the surrounding edges where the tiles meet the wall should
be slanting if your walls are not at right angles - who’s
are.. This is a huge performance and difficult for me to get
my head round, neither I nor my husband are particularly
into DIY and would rather be doing other things. I for
instance would rather be working on this website or my
artwork. So I get irritated and frustrated and as long as it
is reasonable I will not spend my time getting it perfect,
you will often here me saying that life is too short for
this or that. Of course my OCD anxieties concerning
contamination by germs and chemicals will make me more
anxious to get the ordeal over with as there is much stress
and hand washing, panicking and nagging my husband, whom it
seems invariably violates some of my OCD considerations such
as returning my ruler to its place on my desk without
washing it first after it has been used to measure the
tiles, the fear of course here is contamination by
chemicals. And whilst engaged in such activities there is
always a powerful compulsion to shower and this
counteracts any urges to achieve perfection. So concerning
my own experience, my compulsion to achieve perfection
occurs only in certain areas of my life. I do not know if
this is typical of all OCD sufferers or other
perfectionists.
Comparing oneself to others is an undesirable
characteristic of those of us who have such tendencies or
rather in my case compulsions to achieve perfection. If we
compare ourselves to others most likely we will find someone
who has achieved more, is more talented and so on. One cannot
compare with genius so one has to be realistic, it is of no
use to compare my artwork with one of the masters as I will
not reach this level of excellence - no I am not going to
say perfection, no one is perfect. Salvador Daly the famous
Spanish surrealist artist said:
"Have no fear of perfection,
you'll never reach it."
If you do this all you
will achieve is despondency, you will become discouraged.
Unless of course you have comparable talent but even if you
have and you have perfectionist tendencies notwithstanding
your excellence you will still be miserable and you will not
be satisfied with your level of achievement no matter how
brilliant. We need to accept imperfection. I know not an
easy thing is it when you have OCD. If you do compare
yourself with others often you will find there are many not
as talented or able yet you overlook this and concentrate
upon those who appear to excel. Really it is better not to
make such comparisons after all it does not really matter,
the important thing is that whatever endeavour we pursue
from washing the dishes to painting all that matters is that
you did your best according to the level of your abilities and
whatever level you attain it is far more advanced that of
doing nothing at all; as the familiar saying goes: it is
better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at
all. And bear in mind that failure is in any case mostly a
matter of perspective. There is more imperfection in this
world than perfection which in fact does not exist anywhere
not even in nature. Most certainly none of mans endeavours
are perfect. Consider a common example: how many of you live
in a house that has every corner at a right angle, every
aspect of it in perfect symmetry. I certainly do not there
is not one right angel in any corner, even the door in this
room sits within an imperfect frame of inaccurate dimensions
which are in fact is so bad that the original door remains
as without major alteration it would be difficult to replace
the door so askew is the framework and consequently the door
would need to be custom made. It is a good thing
that I do not have an obsession with symmetry this house
would be a nightmare for anyone with this type of OCD.
No one is perfect... that's why
pencils have erasers.
Author Unknown
It is an erroneous belief that anything less than perfect
is not acceptable. I was once employed in what would now be
called quality control in a factory that produced plastic
components. Before packing these components where checked by
me, not to weed out the all the imperfect ones because if I
did so there would be none left to pack, only to dispose of
the ones that where glaringly obviously blemished or
dysfunctional. In fact I was called hawkeye as I noticed so
many imperfections that far too many of these components
where thrown away and this of course gave rise to complaints
that I was too fussy. If you are a perfectionist you may
notice imperfection more than others who are not this way
inclined as you tend to focus in on these imperfections that
others fail to notice, rather like you notice things in your
life that give rise to COD fears. I would imagine that I
notice more dogs in the environment than do people who are
not anxious about contact with dogs. In the same way people
less concerned about perfection are probably less likely to
notice imperfection in the first place. People not into art
or obsessed with perfection may not notice mistakes in my
perspective. People seem not to notice perhaps in my website
all the grammatical and other errors, at least if they have
not one person has ever pointed them out. My husband is
particularly oblivious to imperfections even glaringly
obvious ones, particularly concerning DIY he just doesn't
notice the lumps in the paper or whatever. Yes the more keen
our perfectionist tendencies the more we notice these
imperfections as we become increasingly more sensitised to
them.
There are two types of perfectionist, normal and neurotic.
A normal perfectionist might strive for perfection or
excellence however if this cannot be achieved he will than
abandon such an ideal, he will re-evaluate the situation and
see his goal in a more realistic light and take satisfaction
from his achievement. Conversely a neurotic perfectionist
never feels that he has done enough, he does not consider
that he has accomplished his task well enough, he is
intolerant of imperfection and abhors mistakes, becoming
extremely self critical he berates himself. No matter how
well the task is completed he experiences no sense of
satisfaction if his achievements have not met an often
unrealistic goal despite the compliments of others who see
his accomplishments in a more reasonable light.
A man would do nothing if he waited
until he could do it so well that no one could find fault.
John Henry Newman
The compulsion towards perfectionism can result in fear
of making mistakes which than goes on to result in nothing
being attempted because this fear becomes so strong that the
person begins to feel that it might be better not to try at
all rather than fail; after all the subconscious reasoning
insists that if I do nothing... well than I cannot
fail, there is nothing to perfect. There are indeed many
negative repercussions that result from neurotic
perfectionism. Often perfectionism brings about great
unhappiness when what begins as an interesting or even
exciting endeavour commenced with enthusiasm deteriorates
into a pursuit filled with anxiety,
frustration, and depression; what we first enjoyed than
becomes a source of misery, dissatisfaction and exhaustion.
In fact it is only when thoroughly exhausted and weary that
I finally click the publish button after hours of checking
the new content for my website. The same occurs with
painting, it is usually after I am so weary and bored with a
particular much rendered and re-rendered painting that I
will finally say that enough is enough. Although of course I
can carry on rendering a painting at any time as long as it
remains in my procession as indeed I can alter my website at
virtually anytime or remove something at any given moment,
this I have done on occasion. Often I can look back at a
painting or a piece of writing and feel less satisfied with
it than I did in the first instance. Recently I decided
in some way that a painting was even less satisfactory than
I remembered when I had completed it a few months ago.
After much work on this particular painting I had put it
away having decided that enough was enough, I just had to
leave it as it was, it was the best I could do. But now a
few months on I cannot imagine why I accepted this as okay,
it is bare, lacking detail and notwithstanding my struggle
against the fear of imperfection I cannot understand why I
thought it was okay. The reason for this is that I probably
now have become more sensitised to imperfection expecting
more and more from myself and accepting less and less. Our
minds are fickle, our thoughts and perspective constantly
change and as our perfectionist tendencies increase we
become increasing more dissatisfied until we find that
nothing brings us any sense of achievement or fulfilment.
So you see that perfectionism, at least
neurotic perfectionism, can be a great detriment. More
rational perfectionism of course can be a boon and much of
value in this world that has enhanced our lives in the field
of science and the arts has been achieved because of the
pursuit of perfection but rational perfection, perfection
seen in a normal context, where it is accepted that in
reality perfection can never be achieved and the rational
person adjusts his goals accordingly. In fact is perhaps
better to say that such achievements were carried out in the
pursuit of excellence rather than perfection for such is
impossible.
So what is the answer? What can those of us do, who seem
not to have a more rational slant on our perfectionist
tendencies, to improve our situation?
As with any other irrational behaviour it is not easy to
set aside the feelings that follow on from the thoughts, the
feelings of anxiety, of depression when we feel we have
failed. The feeling of anxiety, which arises whenever we
approach the task we are attempting to perfect is indicative
that you are suffering with neurotic perfectionism. It is
not an easy matter to overcome such compulsions even if we
have insight into what is going on and why you really cannot
face painting that picture, picking up your sewing, writing
your essay, decorating your sitting room, or whatever it is
that you are obsessively attempting to perfect. Despite such
insight it is nonetheless not an easy matter to set aside
such feelings and try to approach the problem in a more
logical and rational manner.
Neurotic perfectionism is a problem not easy to contend
with any more than any other difficulty borne from
irrational thinking and behaviour. Such thinking that seems
to be beyond our control as though such a compulsion is
innate and programmed into your brain. Right now this very
moment as my fingers scurrying over the key board I am
anxious, the anxiety rising to my throat I have difficulty swallowing, an
anxiety borne of fear of imperfection, fear of failure, of
not getting this piece of writing exactly right. And this is
a huge problem. I rationalise the situation over and over, I
try to gain a more normal perspective. I know that if I
where to sit here forever this and any other piece of
writing would never be perfect. I am
not a professional writer and even if I was I know
that I would not be satisfied for this tendency is a bane
for all those who suffer with an obsessive-compulsive type
of illness. Moreover I have ADD and other problems of an
undefined nature that effect my ability to write therefore
anything I write will never be perfect. On a rational level
I know this but still these feelings remain and after a
ruminative, exhausting editing and checking session
eventually I have to let it go as it is or abandon my
endeavour. I than have to live with these feelings that my
accomplishment is anything other than perfect.
But how does one handle the feelings of dissatisfaction,
anxiety and depression which arise that is the question. It
is not so much that you have achieved your best
imperfections and all and have let whatever pass as
acceptable but it is handling the feelings that arise that
is the problem; the question is how to not allow such
feelings that cause you to procrastinate, become
unmotivated, loose your natural creativity become depressed
and in the worse case scenario abandon your endeavour
altogether, to have full reign.
Firstly one needs to differentiate between excellence and
perfection. Also you need to know that the task you
undertake is within the remit of your abilities. You need to
know the difference between getting something just right to
the best of your ability and being overly fussy or
painstakingly accurate. You need to know when accuracy is
vital to your endeavour and when it is not. A surgeon has to
be accurate, lives depend on it but your art or your
decorating does not need this same level of accuracy. Like
all neurotic conditions after a while we quite forget that
our behaviours are the result of irrational thinking and we
can forget quite what is normal behaviour and what is not.
Another way to offset negative thoughts which are
precipitated by perfectionist expectations is to stop focusing
on your supposed mistakes and imperfections and instead
concentrate upon what you have done right what part of your
task or project or whatever you have completed to your
satisfaction.
You should not set for yourself to high a goal or
overload yourself with projects. This is a major problem for
me personally. I have many ideas buzzing round in my brain
concerning either this website or my artwork and indeed many
other things and a To Do list as long as your arm. Doing
this you achieve nothing but misery as you try to over
extend yourself particularly when you have OCD or other
anxiety disorder and the battle with this also interferes
with whatever it is you attempt. Be more forgiving to
yourself apply a little positive self talk, it may take a
time for it to become engrained into your thinking
processes, particularly if you have been a perfectionist for
years and suffering this torment with little or no insight.
I have to keep telling myself that perfection in my writing
is a goal that is not attainable, I have to consider my
handicaps, the OCD checking compulsion for example that
hinders this endeavour. I have to accept that until these
change I will never obtain perfection in my writing and
indeed for the most part perfection is an unattainable goal
for anyone.
The following websites may give you more specific advice
concerning overcoming your perfectionist tendencies. As
a person who tends towards perfectionism I am perhaps not in
position to give advice about overcoming this difficulty.
Overcoming Perfectionism: How To Develop a Healthier Outlook
Coping. org: tools for coping with Life's
Stressors.Perfectionism.
Perfectionists Miss a Lot of Fun
Perfectionism will make your life a misery as much as any
other unwanted irrational thought induced state of being. I
saw this in my son the day we visited Beverly Minster in
Yorkshire, the anxiety
although relatively mild was there nonetheless, the anxiety
to get the perfect photograph the tension distracted from
the pleasure of being in this peaceful place.
The following quotation is perhaps in the end the only
advice that we really need as such philosophy can easily be
applied to any situation where perfectionist tendencies arise.
I have done my best." That is about
all the philosophy of living one needs.
Yutang, Lin