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March 6th
Already March 6th and
this is only the first entry, and only done with some
reluctance. No its not that I do not want to write any more for
this blog or website, it is simply the dread of the exhaustive
checking that will inevitably follow. There also seems to be so
many restrictions concerning what I can write because of the
interference of OCD thoughts that I do not really know what to
write any more. Also I wonder how many people read it to make it
worth while or if all my negative
ramblings are doing more harm than good.
I could write about
the relatively good day out we had last week in the Yorkshire
dales, at least in comparison to many of our trips out it was a
good day. But it is the anxiety, and that awful heart sink
moment knowing just how time consuming and how difficult it will
be, so I have put off doing so until now and even now I face the
task this some reluctance. With OCD you are never sure if you
really want to do something from a genuine desire and motivation
or you are driven by OCD or depression to try and alleviate or
distract from these conditions. In the beginning such endeavours
are met with enthusiasm but as OCD settles itself in and begins
its interventions, introduces obsessions and compulsions that
turn what you first enjoyed or were enthused about into a
misery and a chore.
Well lets leave
that there as I have written so much about his problem, but it
is a big issue for me as I spend a lot of my spare time and all
my insomnia time involved in my activities on the computer which
includes writing of course.
Where we live all
the snow has gone but as you approach the Yorkshire dales through
the Stang Forest now recently greatly reduced of its trees so that fickle
people can change their furniture very five minutes, there is
still a considerable accumulation. Sorry couldn't resist a
comment about the forest and how it has been spoilt, as today
with the snow as we approached the summit of the hill that leads
through the forest into Swaledale, it rather reminded me of
pictures I have seen of the devastation of The Tunguska
explosion
in Siberia when a
meteor hit it in the early part of the twentieth century. Last
year even during the bad weather they were cutting down so many
trees that it has altered the entire view from the summit and
taken a good proportion of the forest, and yes it bugs me, makes
me angry. Human beings think the whole world is theirs to exploit and for the most part for greed
and self interest . Yes Indeed it is not a natural forest, more
a tree farm, but still it is a sad sight to see the devastation.
England apparently was once covered with forest in the middle
ages. Yes it is another issue of contention and also reminds me
of the blatant devastation of the rainforest at the expense of
the creatures that live there and eventually our own
destruction, again all for the benefit of the few at the
expensive of the many.
Yes indeed it is
difficult to have a really good day out as there is always some
axe to grind, something to make me sad as I am so sensitive to
many of the evils in this world. However despite such
contemplation and complaining, which both my husband and I engage
in each and every time we approach the dales through this
forest, it is a gloriously sunny day and the snow covered
scenery is breathtaking. The sky is brilliant blue, virtually
cloudless, the snow shines and twinkles like thousands of
diamonds in the brilliance of the sun. At the summit the road is
still slightly covered with some snow and I am anxious, but as we
managed to get up the hill for only the second time this winter
that it has been accessible to allow entry into the dales
from this approach we are determined to continue through to the
valley, and we carefully make our way through the patches of
frozen snow which still lie on the road. We are amazed to see
just how much snow remains here. I would say in some places
there is well over a foot of snow. I do so enjoy the snow
despite all its drawbacks and the difficulties in the earlier
part of the winter and get my boots on to roam through the snow
for a while, albeit with some anxiety. Why you may ask...
Anxiety is mostly now a default condition, but I am just so
sensitive of what may go wrong such as getting a headache because of the brilliance of the
sun and the reflection of the snow despite wearing sunglasses,
but I am always anxious about getting a headache if I do not
have one and if I already have one I am anxious about it getting
worse. In addition I am desperate to use the toilet, another
default condition it seems for there are few times that I do not
feel
uncomfortable, at the very least with regards to my bladder, or
desperate at the worse. Today it is the latter even though it
must be only about half an hour since I last went to the toilet.
This is a significant detriment and all on its own effects the
quality of my life and mars every occasion as it does today. But
I was determined to remain here and enjoy the snow for a while
longer.
View of the Yorkshire Dales in the snow |
We tenuously make
our way over the hill, the scenery is spectacular with snow on
all the surrounding hills which as we approach the valley
becomes less and less. We are surprised to see sheep grazing
here even though here at a slightly lower elevation the snow is
more patchy. We hate to see these poor creatures out in all
weathers and last time we came it was actually snowing and they
were covered in snow. It breaks my heart to see them exposed to
the elements with not even the most rudimentary of shelter, such as a
tree or a wall. Here the landscape is Bleak, yes beautiful to
our eyes but inhospitable to animals such sheep. We think these
animals should have access to shelter, a barn or at least some
kind of covered shelter, against the worse of the fearsome
weather here, and like the situation with the trees my husband
and I make comment upon what we perceive as animal abuse, which
it is of course. When we arrive at our favourite tea room the
weather we
learn has been rather a nightmare, much worse than we
experienced and the worst weather in many years. We have been
coming here now for several years and I can just manage now a
basic chat with the lady who takes the orders, but it is still
difficult and I obsessed and continued to obsess about the
conversation which got confused when another person joined in
and now I keep analysing it over and over.
The valley here is
free from snow and we drive around for a while with the
intention of going up to one of our favourite view points if the
road is accessible. I would have liked to have gone for a short
walk but the time sped by so quickly that somehow or another we
did not get the chance. We were though delighted to see sheep in
one of the lower fields. There were two breeds, Blue faced
Leicester Sheep and Swaledale sheep, the latter breed most
common to the Yorkshire Dales and usually quite timid, but as we
approach the gate to take photos the Leicester Sheep, which we
have noticed before in our travels, seem more bold than most
other breeds of sheep and approach us as we came near to the
gate with the more timid Swalesdales following. What was so
unusual, although it is indeed quite common even though you
rarely observe it let alone photograph it, was the obvious
affection these sheep, all rams, had for one another.
After the excitement and perhaps the disappointment of our not
having food for them, or perhaps they were simply curious,
ignoring us they settled down to enjoy the warmth of the sun
which despite the snow remaining on higher ground was quite
warm.
Two Leicester sheep
snuggled close to each other side by side, eventually one of the companions laid his head upon that of his friend as you can
see from the photo below. Meanwhile two of the swaledale sheep,
second photograph, rubbed
heads, a way sheep have of showing affection.
You can see more
photographs of these sheep in the photograph Gallery of my
other website, think-differently-about-sheep.com :
Photograph Gallery: Sentient Sheep
And also included in my flickr sheep Photostream:
sheep rub heads to show affection on Flickr - Photo Sharing!
We had quite an anxious time, okay I panicked as after
managing to get up the steep road to the view over the valley we
decided to go further and higher only to find the road
impassable, at least for us in our tiny car. We got stuck for a
while with the car slipping and sliding and it was really a
nightmare, my heart was in my mouth so fearful as I thought that we would
get stuck. Somehow we managed averse. We meet a truck bringing
up a skip and we told him the road was impassable, but he had
a larger vehicle so he decided to give it a try. I was anxious
and we waited lower down to see if he was okay as we saw him
reverse back but it seemed to take forever before we saw him
emerge lower down.
No day is perfect for any one, but as days go this was the
best we had for a long time. I had gone with much reluctance
but with determination as lately I have been feeling that if I
am not careful for one reason or another I will loose the
confidence to go out due to my anxieties and other health
conditions mainly my headaches and migraine but IBS and
irritable bladder make me feel though that the time is
fast approaching when I will not be able to cope with trips out.
As it was we had gone last Monday and had to turn back because
my headache became worse, at one time I would have gone on
regardless, but particularly this winter I have become more
anxious of getting stuck somewhere and not coping with being
ill.
We stopped on the way back for another romp in the snow, it
was an incredible day, by now rather warm, an odd contrast,
spring like warmth with so much snow here on the summit of this
hill which I imagine will take along time to melt. Particularly as
night-time temperatures plummet. I have not known a winter
with so many frosty bitter cold nights. As we make our way down
though the forest we notice the trees still have snow clinging
to their branches, an indication that here snow has not melted
even during the day.
March 10th
Another glorious
day today, with a clear blue sky but still that early morning
frost. I do have to say that although the sunshine uplifts my mood to some
degree, or at least mitigates the depression, which is really a
better description of how the weather effects my mood, I have
mixed feelings. I am looking forward to the spring but also feel
a sense of loss, that I failed to enjoy the snow, and a certain
anxiety because with the return of the spring and summer there is
more pressure to be out and about even if it is only sitting in
our back yard. Also jobs deferred until spring need attention,
such as repainting the damp patches which now have to be done and
none of us feel very motivated, but if we just forget
about it we are reminded all through summer of the misery of a
damp house. I also like to veg out on Sundays and not feel the
compulsion to do much other than watch TV or read, but when the
sun is shinning it feels uncomfortable to have to to stay inside and
it can be actually depressing to do so. But today I have a
headache and really feel I should now try to not go out far if I
am not well as it is simply a waste of very expensive petrol to
have to turn round and come home. Changing plans as always been
difficult for all of us but for me in particular it is
complicated by OCD anxiety about so doing bringing about the
possibility of unfavourable circumstances arising as a result of
this change. Somehow I
have to do something about this this year as it is such a misery
to trek out feeling unwell, I do not enjoy it of course, who
would.
There have also
been and will most likely be fewer entries this month as I
am working on a new design for my blog. A task long over due. I
am tried of this rather bland and unimaginative design and feel
I need a change, otherwise the whole website looks stagnant.
March 14th
Urgent Action!
Please click on the
above banner to take urgent action to stop this year's cruel
seal hunt.
Its that time of
year again when the barbaric cruel Canada seal hunt takes place.
Please click the banner and take action to protest against this
cruel hunt which despite years of campaigning for its end
and a European ban on the importation of seal products, the
killing of these helpless baby creatures continues.
As before if you
can't cope with personalising your message send the format
message, but if you can personalise it would be better even if
you only do so for the first couple of sentences. But please
take whatever action you can, if you can.
Here is the
situation from an extract from the introduction to the letter:
Call off the Seal hunt
"The HSI ProtectSeals
team is witnessing an ecological disaster for seals off Canada's
east coast: so many baby seals will die this year before hunters
even reach them. Mother harp seals need ice floes to give birth
to and nurse their babies, but climate change has prevented much
of the sea ice from forming this year. Environment Canada
confirms 2010 has seen the lowest sea ice formation off Canada's
east coast on record, and we are expecting mass seal pup
mortalities as a result.
Ignoring this tragedy, Canadian Fisheries Minister Gail Shea
says she will actually allow commercial sealers to slaughter
what surviving pups they can find. If the hunt goes on, sealers
will club and shoot seal pups on the tiny pans of ice they are
clinging to. We need to act quickly."
Please take action by
clicking the banner above or the following link:
Humane Society ;Canada Seal Hunt 2010
March 17th
I have another action
that you may wish to take concerning the slaughter of baby
seals. This is a petition which you can just add your name to
the form letter or make a comment if you so wish.
Harper: Put Down Your Forkful of Seal Meat and End the Slaughter
NOW! - The Petition
Extract from petition
introduction:
"Harper: Put Down Your
Forkful of Seal Meat and End the Slaughter NOW!
Target: Prime Minister Stephen Harper
Sponsored by: Care2.com
Last week, the Canadian Parliament was served up a fresh plate
of...seal meat?
And you thought your cafeteria food was bad.
The MP's ate seal meat to show solidarity and support for the
Canadian commercial seal slaughter amid battles with the EU, who
has banned imports of seal products. Although the seal hunt
claims to be sustainable, humane, and a significant income for
isolated communities, nothing could be further from the truth.
Here are some facts about the seal slaughter:
* The Canadian commercial seal hunt is the largest marine-mammal
slaughter in the world.
* 98% of harp seals killed are under 3 months old.
* The hunt is wasteful: Hunters are usually only interested in
their pelts as there is no market for seal meat. They leave the
ice littered with carcasses.
To read more
information and add your name to the petition please click the
link above which I have added again here :
Harper: Put Down Your Forkful of Seal Meat and End the Slaughter
NOW! - The Petition
I think the above
demonstration on behalf of Canadian movement officials is
callous to say the least. At least they should show some
remorse, instead of flaunting their barbaric brutality, so
unworthy of a civilised nation.
The greatness of a
nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its
animals are treated
Gandhi.
Perhaps the
Canadian Government should heed the words of Gandhi and
consider how their conduct concerning the killing of these
helpless creatures and the callous display mentioned above
reflects on their moral progress and how other nations consider
such behaviours.
This hideous
massacre has gone on for years and regular visitors here will
remember similar petitions and similar requests for them to sigh
them. I have even written to Prime Minister Harper and
other Canadian officials concerning this annual barbaric
massacre of these defenceless baby seals. I did get a response
from one official who referred to the massacre as harvesting the
seals, a lubricous and callous description for such brutal
slaughter.
If you wish to
write a letter here is Prime minister Harper's address,
The Right
Honourable Stephen Harper
Prime Minister of Canada
Office of the Prime Minister
80 Wellington Street
Ottawa, ON
Canada Don't
be put off by the above comments, yes it is a hard fight and
regrettably it takes time to implement changes, but you never
know if more and more people write, in time even the hearts of
these callous people may one day melt.
Progress had been
made in the form of the EU ban on the importation of seal
products. Now we need to stop once and for all the massacre ever
happening again.
March 18th
Please visit the
gallery where you ill find a new inclusion to Luis's photograph
page, a whole new page of lovely photographs of animals for
you to enjoy:
Luis
Photographs Page Three
Please
take the time to check out Luis's photographs. This is one of
the first time Luis has bee comfortable going out for a while as
he like us has had a difficult time with extreme weather
conditions; while we have been freezing with extreme winter
temperatures and heavy falls of snow , Luis in Uruguay has had
to cope with the other extreme of summertime temperatures of 40
degrees!
Luis has also
contributed a selection of photographs on my second website
www.think-differently-about-sheep-.com To go straight
to Luis Photographs click Here
*
I will endeavour to reply to all e-mail, however please bear in mind
that I have a number of quite debilitating illnesses and there may be
times when there will be considerable delay. Also I will
not
publish anyone's comments, as appears to be the procedure
with blogs, without permission of the author : If you would like me to
publish your comments please indicate clearly at the end of your e-mail.
All comments are welcome
including polite constructive criticism and difference of opinion.
However I reserve the right not to publish anything that I consider
would be offensive or in any way of detriment to anyone particularly
those who sufferer with the illnesses included on this web site.
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