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June 14th
Holidays, computer problems
and the usual depression and other conditions not the least of
which is OCD, migraine and chronic daily headaches have again
interfered with my time and my entries here along with my new
website which still needs a lot of work.
Against my better judgment
we went away on holiday towards the end of last month. I say my
better judgment because it is now very clear that holidays are
really too much for me. My doctor asked me why I went away and
if I felt so stressed about going than perhaps it would be
better to cancel. But at my time of life I doubt I will improve
and lets face it my chances of going on holiday became less and
less, and besides it's not easy to relinquish yet another normal
pursuit as going away on holiday. Moreover both my son and
husband would have been disappointed and the guilt would have
been more difficult to bear than the awful headaches I did in
fact suffer on holiday and the enormous stress in the week
proceeding our departure.
We went as usual to the
town of Glastonbury in Somerset. I cannot recall a lot of what
took place on holiday as it all passed in a blur perhaps due to
anxiety, headaches and other problems about which I feel just
too weary to go into detail. The break shoes on our car
malfunctioned six miles from our destination. Although the
breaks worked we were advised not to go anywhere accept a few
miles to the local garage which because it was a holiday weekend
would not be open until Tuesday. So we had to cancel our plans
and remain in the local vicinity within walking distance of our
holiday accommodation.
We had some good weather
although one day it poured of rain all day but it was a struggle
for me with the headaches and anxiety. The fear concerning the
issue with the breaks caused huge amounts of worry; anxieties
of being here past the time the holiday was due to finish should
the spare parts not be available. This worry in retrospect was
unreasonable or at least exaggerated.
I will not go into details
about my holiday as life right now is difficult and I simply
feel too depressed.
I am finding life difficult
right now and can't get my mind focused on too many tasks. I
have at present a lot of work to do concerning my computer.
Sometimes I think I over extend myself, too many projects, too
many ideas all going round and round in my brain along with of
course the endless stream of OCD thinking which often prevents
many of my ideas of a more positive nature ever coming to
fruition.
I hope to soon get back to
more regular entries. I had hoped to include a dairy style blog
but simply can't keep up to date at the present time with
entries of this nature, as there is so much going on right now.
An increase in aches and pains particualry in my neck are making
it very difficult for me to do anything which aggravates this
which includes just about everything as of course any task which
involves the use of my arms in front of me increases the
severity of this problem, but not always which is rather a
mystery. Sometimes I can work here for hours and feel only a
very small increases in neck problems and yet at other times
even a simple task such as ironing will bring on a significant
attack, not only of increased neck, back and shoulder pain but
all over aches and pains. I in fact had better leave it there as
I can feel the pain building up right now and it spreads to my
arms and eventually all the other aches and pains may increase
also. I often push through it even though I should perhaps
not but what am I to do just sit about and do nothing all day,
this would be a disaster for a person with OCD. Occupying my
mind is really my only respite and this occupation has to be
fairly intensive such as writing, anything that diverts the mind
from the incessant OCD or depressing thoughts which pour through
it like a stream after a heavy storm . But I have I admit rather
overdone things lately
June20th
Just to let you all know
that there is a new addition to the gallery, the first
photographs of Luis's new sculpture of the bust of Pier Paolo
Pasolini. Luis a sufferer of OCD is taking a course in sculpture
and has quite a talent for this art. Please take the time to
check out Luis's progress with his new sculpture:
Luis Sculpture
Blog: Introduction
Home.
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Disclaimer
No
responsibility is accepted for the content of external links
including blogs:
Concerning blogs :
Although I have initially looked through the recommended blogs
in my blog roll I have not read every single entry and have
selected each on its overall merit: interesting regular entries
. However the comments and opinions of the respective blog
owners do not necessarily reflect my own opinions.
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Contact
I will endeavour to reply to all e-mail, however please
bear in mind that I have a number of quite debilitating
illnesses and there may be times when there will be considerable
delay. Also I will not
publish anyone's comments, as appears to be the procedure with blogs,
without permission of the author : If you would like me to
publish your comments please indicate clearly at the end of your
e-mail.
All comments are welcome including polite
constructive criticism and difference of opinion. However I
reserve the right not to publish anything that I consider would
be offensive or in any way of detriment to anyone particularly
those who sufferer with the illnesses included on this web site.
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