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I will begin by sharing with you the things
that I have found during my life-long struggle with my OCD that have
either helped in some way my ability to cope with this incapacitating
and mind consuming illness or have provided a respite from its
tormenting insistence. Often I think to myself that all I need is peace
and quiet, time to reflect and time to think and relax both mentally and
physically. However contrary to what most of us think this is not always
the case. Concerning peace through silence: this in any case is
virtually impossible to find nowadays amidst the clamour of life. As I
sit here now I am subjected to the endless roar of traffic as it tears
past my house or the hum of machinery as a neighbour cuts his lawn.
Relaxation both mentally, if it is possible, and physically are fine for
short respites but too long with the mind unfocused can induce an
increase in obsessional thinking. The exception of course being formal
relaxation techniques and meditation which I will explain later have
some benefit. Somehow we have to find some peace within and often this
can be found through distraction with either mental or physical
activity, the combination of the two bringing the most benefit. Contrary
to popular belief inactivity is a bane to mental well being. And in my
own personal experience this is most certainly the case. Activity and
mental stimulation such as the pursuit of education for instance are
indeed a balm to anxious fearful thoughts and soul-destroying
obsessions. The mind needs to be active and absorbed. However this only
applies to the right kind of activity: Positive activity. Activity which
is both distracting and adsorbing.

The minds of people with OCD and OCSDs
including eating disorders and the other anxiety disorders mentioned on
this web site need to be kept active, such minds are easily bored and
any time spent in aimless pursuits or inactivity invites the incursion
of unwanted and intrusive thoughts which drive the myriad compulsions
and anxieties that plague our existence. In my personal opinion the
more that you need to use your brain the better it is and the less the
negative thoughts intrude. It is of course no easy matter and our brains
soon need more and more intensive stimulation and new distractions. For
me personally the pursuit of education is an excellent distraction and,
as the quotation from Aristotle says, a refuge in adversity. Shortly
after leaving hospital I found that correspondence courses were a good
diversion. Yes one can get obsessive and yes there is the problem of
checking written work if you have that type of OCD and indeed any new
activity may appear fine for a while than the obsessions, which seem to
have a mind of their own, tend to try and manipulate the latest activity
and turn it into a new and worrying obsession if you are not mindful of
this. And of course there is the stress of trying to pass an exam if
this is the case. However the latter is normal stress and is more
positive than neurotic stress. At least one feels some sense of
satisfaction in ones accomplishments even if one has been rather
obsessive, has had to battle with obsessive thoughts, has studied too
hard or intensively and has produced work far in access of the
requirements of the course. Such behaviours are typical of the sufferers
of the illnesses discussed on this web site. Nonetheless it is still
positive and therapeutic and gives a sense of feeling that despite
overwhelming odds I did manage to get that qualification.

Art is yet another good method for lifting ones
spirits through producing something that not only helps you but also
pleases others and alleviates the drabness of day-to-day life. And yes
as egotistic as it sounds it is a great morale and confidence booster
when we receive praise for our artwork or any of our accomplishments.
Artistic ability and mental illness often go hand in hand, we need to
exploit our abilities in order to boast our confidence and self esteem,
all of which help to alleviate depression and stress. Planning new
artwork in a ruminative way is far better than ruminating about whether
or not you have washed your hands to rid yourself of contamination or
whether or not the slice of toast you ate for tea will make you fat. Yes
you still have the negative thoughts but during the time you are
involved in such positive activates such thoughts may seem less
persistent, less intense and you may be less effected by them even if it
is for only the duration of the activity.

In the last eight years or so since having the
computer I have found it a real boon towards distracting me from the
misery of not only my OCD but also, believe it or not, the headaches and
all the other unpleasant maladies that seem determined to make my life a
misery. Constructing this web site has really been an enormous
distraction. Yes the obsessions have crept in, I have been checking,
rechecking everything I have written, and I have been riddled with
doubts. Nonetheless it has provided a respite during the time in which
I am absorbed with this activity. Even when not actually working on the
computer at the construction of the website it has kept my mind occupied
with ideas for both the content and the art work consequently allowing
less time for obsessional type thinking and the subsequent compulsive
behaviours.

I am not advocating any particular religion or
philosophy here as indeed such contemplation is a part of my OCD and
perhaps such subjects are best avoided if they cause distress. However
much can be learnt from reading inspirational books from all faiths and
for me personally I have found that Buddhism has a lot of philosophical
ideas that may give some food for thought concerning the nature of the
mind. I see Buddhism as a science of the mind, a philosophical way of
coping with adversity and in itself a kind of psychological therapy.
Buddha observed that the mind was the cause of suffering. He said that
the mind was the architect of our suffering that all suffering is in a
way created by the mind or at least exaggerated by the mind.

Now those with any of the illnesses discussed
on this web site and indeed any mental illness can validate this
observation. Most of the appalling suffering that we have to live with
arises solely from the mind, our mind gives us a unique perspective upon
the world and if you have an obsessional illness or other mental illness
this is always a very negative perspective. Our minds perceive the world
to be a very dangerous place, dangers lurk round every corner and
confront us during every pursuit of life that we undertake. Fear
manifests itself where others do not see it. Most people do not see dogs
as a danger, an health risk a means of contracting a life threatening
illness as I do along with many OCD sufferers. Most people do not fear
walking to their garden gate as do many agoraphobics and the majority do
not feel their heart beat if they eat a sweat as their mind deludes them
into seeing and feeling their body increase in size almost immediately
as many anorexics believe. My sister would feel as though the weight
piled on immediately after any kind of indulgence, an indulgence being
merely eating a sweet. Yes the minds of those of us so afflicted with OC
illnesses and anxiety disorders of all kinds make us cower in the
loneliness of isolation fearful to go out, fearful to enjoy our lives,
afraid of touching another person, fearful of eating nourishing food,
fearful of the pleasure of the companionship of other creatures with
whom we share out existence. The list is endless and unique to each one
of us. Most of the things we fear and the things we avoid are not
perceived as threats by others simply because their mind views life from
a different perspective.

Yes that is all very well and I agree. In
theory, fine, great! But our minds as sufferers are powerful and it is
easier said that done to recognise the perverseness of the mind and its
role as our own worst enemy and to do something about it and change our
perspective is yet again quite another matter. And often such
observations can make us cross and irritated, however some comfort can
be derived from time to time recognising that we are not our mind and
our mind can deceive us as it paints a bizarre image or delusion of our
reality, and once one is aware of this it can help sometimes to stand
back and view exactly what is going on in ones mind. On another level
and not necessity an obsessional level our mind can deceive us in to
thinking something is marvellous, a great idea and so on and than
moments later or even years later our mind can do an about turn and make
us feel that what we once liked or the decisions we once made and the
life we lead was not what we wanted and that we have made mistakes and
we are than as a consequence filled with regret or guilt. What we once
liked we now dislike and our lives seem wasted. If we recognise just
how the mind behaves we can become aware of its devious ways of warping
our perception of life. And for those of us tormented by offensive and
unpleasant intrusive thoughts such as violent or sexual thoughts it may
help to realise that such thoughts are not you, rather it is your mind.
Observe them see them as a defect of the mind and not part of you as a
person, much like a person with a physical defect does not see the
defect as being part of them but separate.
We
believe we own out own thoughts and have to do something about them,
especially if they are negative. This is bound to create suffering.
Ayya Khema, "Be an Island"
Often meditation, tai chi, yoga and relaxation are
recommend for all mental disorders and although they are not a cure, if
practiced regularly over time and with patience they do increase ones
feelings of well being and can elevate ones mood. However a word of
caution: As they say in physics there is no action with out an opposite
and equal reaction. And this may be the case with the practice of these
methods promoted as relaxation techniques. (It is interesting to note
that their original purpose in the case of yoga, meditation and
relaxation, which is really a technique adapted from Hatha yoga, are
religious methods of preparing the body and mind for enlightenment. Or
as in the case of tai chi as a means of self defence as this is a
Martial art). I found that both meditation and relaxation can give me a
headache however I do suffer from headaches and may be predisposed to
this happening whenever I relax or meditate. Nonetheless one needs to be
aware that some people do have adverse reactions to the aforementioned
methods of relaxation and there are those who claim that excessive
practice of such methods may actually lead to all manner of
psychological and physical problems including headaches. However the
same problems may arise with prescribed medication, many have had
feelings of aggression, suicidal feelings and compulsions to self harm
as a result of taking selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors SSRI such
as Prozac. My personal experiences related in my
book explain my
experiences with an increase of headaches after taking Prozac and also
during meditation and relaxation sessions along with strange sensations
of heat and spontaneous relaxation feelings even whilst not formally
relaxing or meditating. This can be unnerving for suffers of OC
disorders who feel the need to always be in control. One has to make an
informed decision as everyone is different, what helps some may cause
problems for others. There is much information available on the net but
in the end one has to make ones own decision. The majority of
people meditate and practice relaxation and so on or take Prozac with no
problems at all while for the few problems may arise. I practice Tai Chi
and yes sometimes it brings on a headache if I do not have one already
but not of the severity experienced during relaxation. However I enjoy
the practice of Tai Chi it provides a gentle exercise and gives me the
feeling of doing something positive. I hesitated mentioning the value of
the above
methods because of my own problems
whilst practicing them, however, because of the positive effects that
one can achieve and which I have experienced I considered it necessary
to include them but to also include my negative experiences and
cautions. Such cautions are often found in responsibly written
books on the subjects. It is also wise to find a qualified instructor
and practitioner of meditation, relaxation, yoga and Tai Chi rather than
attempt to learn solely from a book.

Self help for sufferers by
sufferers
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Credits:
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Both websites are well worth a visit for good
selection of medieval/Celtic clip art.
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